Annie Hall 1977

This film is a record of one human male’s failed relationship with a female named Annie Hall. He spends most of the transmission explaining what went wrong, although it’s unclear if he ever understood it himself.

The male — named Alvy — speaks constantly. He questions everything: love, death, family, strangers on the street. He often breaks through the fourth barrier in storytelling to explain his thoughts directly, as if seeking confirmation from an invisible observer. This behavior may be normal in his habitat.

Annie appears later. She dresses in layered fabric, speaks with uncertainty, and sings. She and Alvy have temporary emotional alignment, which soon dissolves under the weight of his insecurity and her restlessness. They orbit each other for a while, then drift apart.

Much of their time together is spent in conversations about the conversations they’ve had. These humans appear to experience most of their emotions retroactively. They analyze their own behavior while performing it. This may be why they seem tired.

Alvy attempts to bring meaning to the relationship by comparing it to a joke about eggs and madness. The joke does not clarify anything.

In the end, he writes a play that rewrites their breakup with a happier ending. He seems pleased with this version, even though it didn’t happen.

Conclusion: Humans prefer to narrate their lives rather than live them. They fall in love with incomplete people, then complain when the people remain incomplete. When things fall apart, they turn the memory into art and consider that progress.

Recommend further observation of this subgroup. If Nebulon ever needs to distract Earth’s thinkers, simply give them mirrors and typewriters. They will handle the rest.