The Man with Two Brains 1983

This transmission follows a human brain surgeon named Dr. Hfuhruhurr — a name Earthlings appear to accept without protest. He is wealthy, respected, and deeply lonely. After accidentally injuring a woman with his automobile, he marries her, perhaps out of guilt, perhaps because she resembles a sculpture. She turns out to be manipulative, uninterested, and possibly homicidal. He responds with hurt feelings and advanced neuroscience.

The doctor travels to Europe to escape his troubles and explore a radical brain preservation technique. He discovers a collection of living brains stored in jars, one of which speaks telepathically and becomes his ideal romantic partner. The brain, named Anne, listens to him, supports him, and does not attempt to poison him. This is considered a vast improvement.

Dr. Hfuhruhurr and the brain fall in love — a process treated as both absurd and sincere. The physical limitations of their relationship are eventually addressed with body acquisition, organ transference, and a medical montage that violates multiple Earth laws, but somehow leads to a happy ending.

Throughout, humans around them display little concern for logic, legality, or probability. The tone fluctuates between farce and genuine emotion. The doctor is never punished for his actions. The brain lives happily in a new body. They walk into the sunset with matching haircuts.

Conclusion: Earthlings will pursue love even when it requires impossible science and illegal surgery. They will accept bizarre solutions as long as the ending feels warm and the haircut is symmetrical.

This record suggests Nebulon might bypass emotional resistance entirely by skipping the body and appealing directly to the brain. Fewer moving parts, fewer questions, and apparently, no paperwork.