Ace Ventura:
This film follows a human named “Ace Ventura,” who specializes in finding stolen animals. This job appears to exist. He is described as a detective, though he wears a shirt that violates several Earth dress codes and speaks in a manner that suggests neurological instability.
Ace’s primary investigative method is to shout, twist his face into improbable shapes, and speak from his rear anatomy — which seems to amuse other humans rather than alarm them. This alone may justify conquest.
The central plot involves a missing dolphin. Yes, the aquatic kind. The film treats this as a matter of national urgency. The resolution includes deception, disguise, and a final twist that appears to hinge on humans not understanding basic biology.
Of particular note is the film’s heavy reliance on loudness. Ace communicates through exaggerated noises, dramatic body movements, and vocal rhythms that resemble a malfunctioning entertainment drone. Human laughter increases in direct proportion to his volume.
From a Nebulite perspective, this film offers promising data. It suggests that if we launch a planetary distraction that includes animal rescue, sound effects, and excessive facial flexibility, Earth society may collapse into helpless amusement. No weapons required — just rubbery behavior and rapid speech.
Conclusion: Humans willingly follow unstable leaders if they are entertaining and vaguely helpful. Their humor receptors are highly sensitive to noise and confusion. Their logic centers, less so.
Recommend further testing: possibly send a decoy ambassador with a parrot, a false mustache, and high energy. Observe if they make him mayor.
