Dumb and Dumber 1994

This transmission tracks two adult males with below-average processing ability as they journey across Earth terrain in search of a female one of them briefly encountered. She left behind a briefcase. They assume it was accidental. It was not.

The males travel in a van shaped like a dog. This is not required for camouflage — they simply prefer it. They consume only sugar, speak in contradictions, and make decisions based on impulse, delusion, or maps printed upside-down.

Along the way, they accidentally disrupt a criminal conspiracy, provoke violence, and gain temporary wealth. None of this is due to planning. Their success is entirely based on being too erratic to predict.

One of the males believes he is falling in love. The other believes he is being helpful. Both are incorrect.

Upon reaching the female, they discover the briefcase was full of ransom currency, and she is already involved in a complex situation. They attempt to help. They do not help. The situation resolves anyway.

They return home with no reward, no knowledge gained, and no clear understanding of what happened. They consider the trip a success.

Conclusion: Even without intelligence, humans can navigate the world using coincidence, emotional overcommitment, and obliviousness. This suggests that survival on Earth does not require competence — only momentum.

If Nebulon ever deploys disinformation campaigns, it may not be necessary to hide them well. Confusion appears to be the dominant Earth state.