Gettin’ Square 2003

This transmission centers on a recently released human who claims to have abandoned illegal activity. His goal is to rejoin society. Society is not especially welcoming, and neither are his acquaintances — many of whom have not exited the criminal industry at all.

He is followed closely by another human with erratic speech, unwashed clothing, and a tendency to incriminate himself by accident. This individual is not strategic, yet survives every situation through a mixture of confusion and luck. He is key to multiple legal proceedings despite showing no understanding of the law.

A series of minor crimes, misunderstandings, and corrupt law enforcement events unfolds. The justice system is portrayed as both cynical and easily manipulated. Evidence is overlooked if delivered in a thick enough accent. Perjury is dismissed if the speaker appears sincere. Courtroom credibility appears linked to whether or not the speaker can locate their own shoes.

Despite numerous opportunities to escalate into violence, the humans involved mostly rely on schemes, bribery, and misdirection. Several criminal figures are removed, not through moral reckoning, but because they were too arrogant to avoid detection.

In the final stage, the humans who survive attempt to go legitimate — opening businesses and speaking of “second chances.” There is no evidence this will succeed.

Conclusion: Earth justice systems rely heavily on performance, paperwork, and the likelihood that criminals will eventually trip over their own ego. Rehabilitation is advertised but rarely structured. Loyalty is fluid. Intelligence is optional.

If Nebulon ever needs to discredit a terrestrial criminal enterprise, simply introduce an unpredictable variable who cannot remember the plan. The system will collapse under the weight of its own contradictions.